CANNONBALL READ: BOOK TWO

Book Two: "Bloodsucking Fiends," by: Christopher Moore (Perennial)

Ever since I was a kid I've always loved vampire stories. Except for the two episodes of 'Are You Afraid of the Dark' that had vampires in them, because those scared the crap out of me. Regardless. "Fiends" was a refreshing, cleverly written story of Jody, a newly turned vampire in San Francisco. After suffering drudging feeling like my brain had melted upon the completion of the Twilight Saga, I was hesitant to approach a genre that had brought me so much satisfaction in the past, but I was pleasantly surprised. Moore's humor is predominant in the novel and keeps the story going where it might have been dry and predictable. Thankfully the story starts right away, and while some of the details are brushed over, the mistakes are easily overlooked due to the fast paced nature of the prose.

Jody, a serial monogamist, suffers through her relationship with Kurt, a stock market enthusiast, until she is walking to the bus stop one night, is accosted, shoved under a dumpster, and left for dead. Upon waking, she ventures home, realizes she's had enough of Kurt, and takes off; after launching a potted plant at his thick head. After her initial doubts, her fears are confirmed; little Jody, is in fact a vampire. In shuffles Tommy. Tommy is fresh off the truck from Incontinence, Indiana, defying his blue collar heritage by snubbing a union job and heading to San Fran to live as a starving artist. They run into each other and move in together. Logical. Impulsive. Whatever. Tommy soon learns of Jody's ... um ... condition, but instead of repulsion and fear, he's filled with amazement and curiosity. Their relationship with each other is the prime concentration of the book, and where it becomes monotonous and tedious, the secondary characters enter to liven up the plot.

The simplicity of the plot works in its favor. The story and characters aren't tied down with unnecessary back story and convoluted story lines. Constant flashbacks that confuse the reader are not an issue, but random occurrences don't work to Moore's advantage. The vampire that created Jody, Elijah, finds her amusing and in an attempt to make her aware of her short comings, decides to frame Tommy for the murders of multiple people. Moore only lightly touches upon his vampire lore, perhaps for the better, as we never know what comes of the conversations between Jody and her maker. Jody's mother, Frances, makes an appearence for no reason, but is harassed by the pair's snapping turtle, which is funny, so we'll call it a wash.

All in all, the shortcomings of "Fiends" are outweighed by the light, entertaining, and enthusiastic writing of Moore. He takes us through Jody and Tommy's relationship without loading us with dumb, romantic details that have no place in certain novels, and his recognition of this is appreciated. The introduction of Steve, a med student at Berkeley, sets up for the next novel, which I might consider reading. As long as it doesn't turn into a vampire love fest, because I'm entirely worn out of beautiful, flawless 'people' loving the non-existent piss out of each other. Thanks Stephenie Meyer, you pretty much ruined my life. I hope the movie sucks as much as I think it will. I digress. "Fiends" is worth the Saturday afternoon that you'll extinguish to put it to sleep, and it won't haunt your mind later (ala "Twilight") due to absurdity and nonsense. Shortly, it was enjoyed and recommended for a nice, light read.