NO TIME FOR LOVE DR. JONES.

Let me just get one thing clear. Growing up, my favorite movies were Batman, Terminator, Robocop, and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. That's right. Temple. Not Raiders. And certainly not Last Crusade. Now here's the part where I justify.

I didn't understand subtext as a small child. Kudos to you if you did. And I didn't understand the importance of protecting this 'ark of the covenant' from this 'nazi' guy. I was seven. Did I understand the drinking contest in the beginning with Marian? Nope. Did I understand the fear of snakes? Surely, but when they pull him up from the other hole with the Nazi flag, that one just whizzed right by me. Plus a monkey died in that movie. There is one reason above all else that my love for Temple of Doom thrived with the power of many suns. It had the better girl.

Even though it was Kate Capshaw and much talk was had about her purpose or way of getting the role, for a seven year old girl, who albiet loves movies that aren't for seven year old girls, felt for the singing, beautiful, and high maintenance blonde. Sue me.
"Innnnnddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!"

PLUS Temple had Short Round, one of the most fantastic kid sidekicks of all time. My dad used to tell me that when I could drive I would probably need blocks on the pedals like Shorty did (I'm fully grown and can reach the pedals and see over the wheel thank you). And the danger was so much more imminent and engaging in Temple. Yes, Hitler and the Nazis are terrifying individuals and there is much scaring to be had, but keeping the ark away from some guy that I didn't see until the end? How about trying not to get your heart ripped out of your chest? Or possession after being whipped into submission to drink blood? And then you get everything under control and there's mucho rushing water in a small tunnel that leads to no where? To me, that's pretty damn immediate.

Ark may have the better story (Temple = kidnapped kids + missing stones + child king under voodoo magic + KALIMAH!), but Temple has the danger, the girl, and the sidekick. So that's where my logic is. And while other people talk about how 'scary' it is and how 'creepy' it is, prepare to meet Kali in Hell.